ChrisLand

Well, today was a different day. I have been complaining about my love all day, saying that I would go home to my house right after school and do my damned homework. It ended up where Vicky talked me into thinking that my homework was not that hard and I went to her house. We got online because I had to tell Chels where I was, not gonna be online. Then I checked Justin's blog because earlier, in science, he told me to, and, of course, attempted to check Chelsey's, when I heard behind me "Fine, don't check mine."

So I checked Vicky's and only skimmed over Chelsey's. I am reading hers now.

So after school I got all ready to go into town for...nothing. We were just going to go until I heard Vicky laughing for a while. I didn't ignore her, but didn't look her way for a while. I played with her dog, Emmy. Then I looked at her, finally after a couple milliseconds and saw that she had no shirt, and her pants were unbuttoned. I obviously had no choice but to go to her. Its not that I didn't want to though...not at the time.

We ended up on the floor and I found myself bored and kept thinking "I don't want to be here." I kept her tounge out of my mouth. What the hell was wrong with me? I keep feeling like I don't want to be in this relationship. I don't know why.

I pretended to enjoy the make outting, and looked down her oh-so-sexy body to not feel horny at all. I did have an erection, but that is information that you would not want to know, so nevermind. I can't explain my feelings. I need a break...or so I thought.

I left her house early to come home and work on Spanish homework. Mom told asked me if Vicky was there. Right, like I'm allowed to have her here with no parents. I guess Mom feels that she lives here like Vicky does. Well, Mom said we were having spaghetti and meatballs and that Vicky was welcome to join us. Hey, there's a perfect invitation. Homework is boring and much more fun to work on if you have someone with you. I felt bad for my feelings before and it was a big "Why not?" question. I called Vicky and she ended up helping me with my project. She did the cutting out. It was fun then. I was okay and we snuggled on the chair after. She's adorable and I had fun today. I'm happy with my relationship now...for now.

Other problems always seem to happen. They're gonna happen and they will no matter what. I should have no problem with my true love of my life. I have a problem...either I'm gonna be single my whole life having many many one-night-stands and getting STD's and then dying, or I'm gonna be with Vicky, having kids and living the good life. That last one may also include giving up my career dream. So, its between my life and my love. I'd be happy with either.

I do not have to choose now. I'm in love, and as far as I can see, nothing will ruin that. I will always love Vicky, always.

I talked to Vicky about Doug and Chels coming up north for my birthday, she was kinda just wanting us two, but hey, who's birthday is it? I still need to ask my momma though, dammit. I'll keep ya posted on those details later.

I just wrote a disturbing entry at Chrislo1112.diaryland.com. Go check it out, or don't.

I miss friends already. I have been wanting to be alone in this house for so long, but the reason why I am now scares me. Mom is going crazy. I have a lot of hate right now so I'm thinking about Friday.

I saw Scary Movie 3 with Doug and Chels and Vicky. In Doug's car, driving to the mall, I was excited and happy and knew this was going to be fun. There was nothing else I wanted to do. Vicky, Doug, Chels, and I were all very talkitive while Doug's mom was driving. It was a fun ride. I felt alive. I felt the aliveness that I felt in the beginning of the summer where Vicky would tell me "You're so alive!"

We walked around the mall, and I thought it was awesome. Doug and Chels left to go get tickets, leaving Vicky and I alone to do whatever we wanted. I thought it was unnecessary, but it was still okay. Vicky and I chose to laugh about it and not let it bother us, like it shouldn't. It didn't. We played some video games as we met up with Doug and Chelsey. Then we went to the movie. Hey, we didn't have to walk over there twice. Haha. We laughed about that too.

Vicky ended up falling asleep to Scary Movie 3 on opening day. In the car ride home, Vicky's face disturbed me. The whole time I wanted to ask Doug and Chels if they were okay. I was worried that they weren't having fun. Vicky I never know about. She's unpredictable. I sat there thinking about how EVERY time this happens, I feel like we should break up. I feel like I don't want to put up with it and I feel like shit. I feel sad and hurt and I shouldn't.

I didn't know what her problem was. I had NO fucking clue about what could have gone wrong. Nothing could have. We got home, thanks to Doug's mom, we were bother very happy that she dropped us off then. I came inside and went to the bathroom. Vicky stood out the door and acted like she was crying. Like a wimpering dog she stood out there. I was trying to use the bathroom! What else could I have done? Damn!

So I came out after she stopped, walked into my room without a word. She was happy, not sad that Doug dropped us off. I was gonna harshly talk to her and asked "SO, did anything bother you this time?"

"Yeah."

"Of course, what now?"

The way Doug and Chels got tickets and in the car when Doug's mom asked if we were doing anything for Holloween."

I'm sure she said something else, but I cannot remember. It was really stupid. "Hey, we got to be alone in the mall for a couple minutes. Doug's mom was just wondering, so what, we're here now, what the hell do you wanna do?"

She can find anything, even the smallest things to complain about.

She's fine now, everyone is fine now.

I just don't know about her. My whole life to live with her like this? I think that is fine with me. She is really awesome sometimes. These are just small things about her. I am like the guy who will say "Okay, we need a divorce because..."

I couldn't even finish the sentence. I'm so stupid. I can't get a divorce everytime we're stressed out. I'm falling out of love, but I've hit a really thick cloud and have a lot more to fall. I'm staying on this cloud, watching it rain below. I'm happy.

None of this should be repeated because it would only cause further stress towards Vicky, I'm just saying it for almost no reason.

I get so mad...*looks at her breasts*...ahh, all better! *Watches her bend over* Whoa...alright, everything is fine again.

That's me, that's how I am with her. She is really really good looking. I care about her. She's been through a lot of shit in her past and I want her to forget it. She's doing very well. I'm in love. Being in love will never go away because I don't want it to go away. I'm fine, she's fine, we're finer.

We're not going to be doing anything for Holloween with Doug and Chelsey. This is was I want too, not only Vicky. Holloween is not a romantic time of the year, but passing out candy and talking and watching movies while scaring trick or treaters sounds more fun that seeing the smallest problem turned into World War 3.

We saw "28 Days Later," a movie that Vicky wanted me to see so badly. I hated it, and told her this. It was not that scary and it was boring. Oh well, now I gotta see "Hollywood Homicide." That looks like a happy movie.

There are no problems, so don't create any. That's one of my many mottos on life.