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The Calm City
Tuesday, November 18, 2003
"I just want you to care about me."
Now this line could have been taken the wrong way, but maybe there is no wrong way. Victoria needs to be cared for. That's all she needs. This is also the part in the conversation where I bring in Chels. I think Chels would care about her no matter what. She might not deserve it, but what the hell. Chels shouldn't have to and I have no idea how Chels could give a shit at all. It frustrates me. Our talks are "fights." We can't stop. "Fights" are where, in the middle of it, you could say "Lets end 'us.'"
It makes me sick and she kept saying "If you don't wanna be with me, then don't."
This makes me feel like shit. I'm shit for thinking like that. She's better than me, and yet, I still love her more.
Here's why: She only cares about herself.
She always thinks about how things effect her. She's a child trying to deal with adult problems. She also MAKES, invents, creates her own problems.
Ha, I've figured it out.
Now what the hell do I do about it? It makes me sick thinking about it so I look at her differently. Help me. I will not end it, I cannot, I'd be miserable. Help me.
Now this line could have been taken the wrong way, but maybe there is no wrong way. Victoria needs to be cared for. That's all she needs. This is also the part in the conversation where I bring in Chels. I think Chels would care about her no matter what. She might not deserve it, but what the hell. Chels shouldn't have to and I have no idea how Chels could give a shit at all. It frustrates me. Our talks are "fights." We can't stop. "Fights" are where, in the middle of it, you could say "Lets end 'us.'"
It makes me sick and she kept saying "If you don't wanna be with me, then don't."
This makes me feel like shit. I'm shit for thinking like that. She's better than me, and yet, I still love her more.
Here's why: She only cares about herself.
She always thinks about how things effect her. She's a child trying to deal with adult problems. She also MAKES, invents, creates her own problems.
Ha, I've figured it out.
Now what the hell do I do about it? It makes me sick thinking about it so I look at her differently. Help me. I will not end it, I cannot, I'd be miserable. Help me.
